"old man"

my grandfather is getting old and i can see it in his face, the hard lines, the tired eyes, the permanent image of a hard lived life. yes, he's definitely getting old and i can hear it in his voice, the meek words and soft laughter that brings a weary smile to those hard lines and tired eyes that bore out of a hard lived life. my grandfather is getting old for i can feel it in his arms, that once held me tightly now barely hang on for a few seconds, hoping to feel power in my grip? i wonder, where did those hard lines came from? as each day passes he ages and i can sense it in his being, not too sure if he's coming or going, existing in these times, computers and gadgets, not too sure of the meaning, just being, aging. my grandfather is getting old and i can see it in his walk, itches on by, on his way to church, dressed all big and proud you would never guess those were his tired eyes, and his quiet laughter that you see in the back of the church would you preacher? yet he's there, nothing could keep his away, please note. my grandfather is skin and bones and i don't understand how such a strong spirited person could gradually just fade away, i don't like it, not one bit! why must my grandfather grow old? can't he just stay how he was, patriarchal, strong and proud, a man to admire and fear, a man of great virtue and wisdom, the man i remember. my heart sinks when i see my grandfather because every day i live with this fear that i'll wake up one morning and he is no longer there, that those hard lines would stay transfixed on his face leaving the last image of him with tired eyes and a glimpse at a hard lived life that too many forget. but still, my grandfather is getting old, and there's nothing i can do, powerless, i feel.

Do Right Woman

Take me to heart and I'll always love you
And nobody can make me do wrong
Take me for granted leaving love unshone
Makes will power weak and temptation strong

A woman's only human
This you should understand
She's not just a plaything
She needs love
Just like her man

So if you want a do right all day woman
You've got to be a do right all night man

A woman's only human
This you should understand
She's not just a plaything
She' needs loveJust like her man

So if you want a do right all day woman
You've got to be a do right all night man

You've got to be a do right all night man
You've got to be a do right all night man
You've got to be a do right all night man

(Sinead O'Connor)

it's not easy being green

it's amazing how quickly time passes when you spend your time being unproductive. i feel as if i have this very important mission in life and that i am wasting precious time not recognising what it is and doing it. everyday i look for signs or clues around that would point me in my direction, i mean i know have everything i want to do in my head and were you to ask me i would rattle it off with such ease you would think it was rehearsed but still i idly take my time to make it happen. what's my purpose? i have to say that is one question that i constantly ask myself, what really is my purpose? am i being a good and productive human being. i guess i would have to admit that is one of my biggest fears, not fulfilling my fullest potential as a human.

no ordinary love

this woman's somewhat of a treasure, unlike no other, my mother, is spectacular in her own unique way, the idiosyncracies that make up who she was, who she is and who she ultimately will be continue to facinate me, growth never ends. i could never even begin to define sacrifice yet i look at her and it's drawn in the lines of her beautiful face, such grace, other mothers must be jealous. but what makes her stand out lies in the reason she was chosen to be MY mother, just one of those things that for me to even try to explain would be one of the greatest injustices conceivable, she is the epitome of love and there's nothing ordinary about it

i am a woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


(Maya Angelou)

sometimes i just forget to put me first

i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself, i love myself.......